The first step is always acceptance. Because it doesn’t feel fair to say that I’m privileged. I’m black, Jewish, Native American (to a tiny degree), grew up without a father, spent most of my adult life as a single mother because my fiance was wounded in the military. I’ve worked multiple jobs most of my life just to pay the bills and rarely had much disposable income. My friends bought my drinks, my son had insurance through Medicaid for a few years. My own mother sued me and took the entire legacy left me by my grandparents. My life has been hard. It’s been a struggle and a fight just to keep my head above water and provide a safe, clean, nurturing environment for my child.
But I’ve still had it easier than most other people in the world. And that means I’m privileged.
If you’re curious about what is meant by the word “privilege” and want a perfect real world example, read the article below. While you are reading it, I want you to imagine how it might be (and has been) written if the perpetrator where a young black kid from Detroit. This is what an academic would call a “textbook example.”
http://www.candgnews.com/news/grosse-pointe-city-native-accused-two-local-bank-robberies-102222
Privilege doesn’t mean you haven’t suffered. Life is hard for everyone and, honestly, all humans should find a common bond in the knowledge that life is tough and it’s heartbreaking and we all struggle. Privilege just means that some people get a break based on their color or socioeconomic status, while others get a harsher deal for the same reasons.
Despite all the things that have gone wrong in my life, much has gone right. I was born into a middle class family that had a history of college education going back to the Civil War. That means I’m privileged, even though I’m part black and female. Another person might have it even tougher than I do because they were born into a family with no history of higher education. And because my life has been really tough, I can think to myself, “Imagine how much harder it would have been if I’d been born poor and never got a college degree.” That gives me empathy for others. It was tough for me and it could have been so much tougher.
Acknowledging privilege is recognizing that things could have been even worse. It means admitting that somewhere, somehow, you got lucky. Every American has privilege because, I assume, none of us would have preferred being born into a Sudanese slum. We all have it worse than Bill Gates and better than a homeless beggar in New Delhi. So we are all privileged and yet can all see how others are more privileged than we are.
So, take a moment to feel gratitude for the ways in which you’ve been privileged. Think about the times you got lucky. Also, think about how hard you’ve struggled and how people who were born into wealth may not understand how difficult it’s been for you to succeed. Then, remember that others are thinking the same about you: that you may not understand how much they’ve struggled and fought and suffered. Privilege goes both ways. It’s an empathetic bridge to your fellow human beings. Don’t dismiss it.